My Monkey

I am getting this babygirl soon. I need to figure out a name for her. I am really excited and happy. January 10th -15th, be here now. Now, now, now.

What I want!

I want to love, live happily, submit, surrender deeply, and glow in guidance and leadership of a dominant man. I accept that my dominant won't be perfect, won't be always strong, won't always make the best decisions. But that's okay. When he needs me as a babygirl, that's who I will be for him. But when he needs me as his competent partner, his counsel, then that too is my service to him. When he needs me as his best friend at the end of the day, when he doesn't have the energy to be holding his dom space, and all he wants to do is forget everything and unwind, I want to be that girl he does it with. But the slut in me will want the pervert in him at other times, the babygirl will need Daddy at other times, the submissive will need Master and leader of the household at other times.

I would always let him lead us, voice my concerns, and trust that he will do what is best, and if he doesn't, he will gather the wisdom to correct his path without ego. I am not going to settle for anything less. This is my dream relationship. I want to be his all and I want him to be my all. I promise to work on my own issues diligently, without expecting my dominant to be my shrink, and promise to be more mindful as they pop up their ugly heads. But I would need him to be patient and understanding with me when they do. Not punish me because I am in pain. And I promise to serve, love, worship, and devote my all, in every way possible for him. And if he understands my tender heart, I promise I would move heaven and earth to see that he is happy all the time to the best of my ability. This is what I want.

Stupidity

Sometimes people are stupid. And there's nothing anyone can do about it. Sometimes people's heads are so far up their asses that even with the brightest light up there they do not know whether they are coming or going. I shake my head when I think how easily people settle into something that is completely unproductive because they are afraid of taking the step towards their own happiness. And of course as I look at that in others, I need to then see what steps I am not taking for my own happiness because I am stuck in my own comfortable space. And I realize that I am stuck in a story that perhaps has long ended and I had a hard time accepting the end of it, even when the end was clear. Somehow with multiple versions of going back and forth, I thought, the end wasn't an end, that there were chances for continuation, until I got slapped on the face with reality. So I am going to try to wake up, smell the coffee, embrace reality, and a new tomorrow.