Who are these people?

I have been on SL for some time now. I have attended several discussions across the grid to expand my own understanding and learn and grow with other lifestylers. I do the same in RL too whenever I get the chance, but where I live, there aren't a lot of opportunities to engage in munches and discussions. So, I use SL and other online spaces to stay connected to topics that matter to me, while communicating with like-minded folks in the lifestyle.

However, lately some of the discussions I have been going to left me questioning who the people are that are leading the discussions and what inspired them to do so. One discussion I went to comprised of people who gasped at the idea of going to one's Master and speaking to Him about difficult issues as they come up and not wait until such issues become bigger, unsolvable blocks. As I suggested this idea, one that shouldn't even be unique to the lifestyle, people were surprised that I could have that kind of relationship with my Master, where I don't have to use more passive aggressive measures, or that I don't seek another support system that is separate from my Master. Seriously, who are these people? I have to question the seriousness of one's investment in a relationship if they cannot approach the person to whom they submitted their well-being and communicate honestly about one's feelings.

Then the other day I went to a discussion and I cannot honestly remember what the topic was because everyone spoke out randomly, purging out every thought they had about BDSM and the facilitator addressed a comment here and there, and I was left wondering how he was going to bring the multiple threads together to stay on topic. Well, he never really brought the various threads together so it felt like scattered thoughts on any and all aspects of BDSM.

Today, I went to a discussion where the leader had his harem of submissives in full adulation of him, while he disseminated completely inaccurate information. Basic, 101 level information, was misrepresented, while he tried to hide behind a few paragraphs of cut and pasted information he got from somewhere on the Internet without understanding the meaning behind the words he posted. Sometimes I wish, I could stay silent and not open my big mouth so I wouldn't risk pissing off people. Well today was not one of those days. Somehow, I didn't feel like being this docile, brainless, human today.

Therefore, yours truly decided to call out the discussant, to point out simple things like, in BDSM, through power exchange, there can be an element of sexual control both in and out of play, and such power exchange for control is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM for many lifestylers. I won't even go into the repeated contradictions in arguments, or the back pedaling, because I simply don't have the time or the interest to do so. However, I found it interesting that the discussant was stating that there is no sexual control in BDSM, but acknowledged that people practice BDSM differently in their own lives. How can the former statement, an absolute, be true and reconciled with the latter, a subjective one?

While I don't claim to know everything about BDSM, and see myself on a journey where I have to still learn and grow, I cannot help but wonder who these people are, and how they arm themselves with the confidence of leading discussions (or in this case the discussion was repeatedly being referred to by his harem as "class"), when they lack some very basic information. At the end of the discussion/class, the harem congratulated the discussant, their Master, for teaching a great class with repeated and vigorous head nods, and I continued to question how someone who situates himself as a "teacher" could not even do some basic homework, or have a fundamental understanding of that which he teaches, or have the depth needed to discuss these multi-faceted issues.

So, I did the next best thing to resolve this inner conflict that I was experiencing. I went shopping! Retail therapy included a kick-ass outfit for an Alice in Wonderland party that I am going to DJ tomorrow evening from 6-8 pm (slt) at The Power Exchange, and rocking music that I downloaded from iTunes. By the time I got my outfit, downloaded my music, and prepared my playlist, I was back in my happy place and my world became balanced again. Yay!

A Smile

Sometimes a smile can make all the difference. A smile when one wakes up. A smile in the middle of the day. A smile when one ends the day. A smile when someone does something kind for you, for no reason, and a smile when you feel like doing something nice for a stranger without expectations. Today, I was thinking of the many reasons I have to smile everyday.

I lead an extremely blessed life. I wake up every morning taking stock of things that overwhelm me with feelings of gratitude, and I smile. I have people around me, who for the most part, make me smile. My dog, I swear, was a clown in her past life. I think she looks at me and smiles, sometimes gives me a look, like her mom is the most insane human she has seen, and at other times, looks at me so cutely, that I have to remember to be strong to scold her for something bad she did. 

I have people who love me, and for that I feel really grateful. I have no idea what I have done to deserve this much, but they seem to be okay with my goofy side, moody side, cranky and grumpy side, and any other sides I choose to express. I wake up and go to sleep thinking how love is the strongest force in this world. How love can truly overcome anything, everything. I wonder what our world would be like if our world leaders used love to be the driving force for political negotiations. How many places would we bomb then? 

I wish for our world, for us as humanity, that someday we wouldn't have to kill others, bomb others, to take down people, groups of people, countries, civilizations to establish our superiority. That perhaps one day, someone somewhere in charge would say, "Enough" and begin to shift politics and negotiations from a place of love, care, and unconditional acceptance and abandon judgement. What would our international relations look like then? What would happen if we didn't operate from a place of fear, but from a place of gratitude and camaraderie? 

I go to bed, imagining a world full of utopian possibilities, and I smile. Perhaps it takes just one person, at any given moment to say, "Enough," and not just rely on someone in leadership position. Perhaps that one person can be me, today. And maybe tomorrow, someone else could be inspired, and the next day, another. I am reminded of Margaret Mead, when she says, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; Indeed, it's the only thing that ever does."

I will end with a tune that always lifts me up and makes me want to do my part in bringing smile, balance, and unconditional acceptance in my own life and extend that outwards. So today I smile. I smile because I have so little to complain about and so much to be grateful for. I smile because I am alive, and I felt the ocean breeze blowing through my hair and making my lipstick smear on my cheek, which made me look like someone had beaten me across my face when I went to work, and induced a crimson blush on my already marked face. I smile, because I have dirty thoughts in my head about the marks on my cheeks. I smile because when I reach out while in pain, I have people who sit with me, talk to me, listen to me, cuddle me, and wrap me in a protective blanket, until I feel strong and ready to face my fears. I smile because no matter what happens tomorrow, I got to live today, and I have so much to live for today. I smile, because, just because.

A Thousand Years

Gorgeous song, gorgeous lyrics. It speaks to me.

A thousand years, a thousand more, 
A thousand times a million doors to eternity 
I may have lived a thousand lives, a thousand times 
An endless turning stairway climbs 
To a tower of souls 
If it takes another thousand years, a thousand wars, 
The towers rise to numberless floors in space 
I could shed another million tears, a million breaths, 
A million names but only one truth to face 

A million roads, a million fears 
A million suns, ten million years of uncertainty 
I could speak a million lies, a million songs, 
A million rights, a million wrongs in this balance of time 
But if there was a single truth, a single light 
A single thought, a singular touch of grace 
Then following this single point , this single flame, 
The single haunted memory of your face 

I still love you 
I still want you 
A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves 
Like galaxies in my head 

I may be numberless, I may be innocent 
I may know many things, I may be ignorant 
Or I could ride with kings and conquer many lands 
Or win this world at cards and let it slip my hands 
I could be cannon food, destroyed a thousand times 
Reborn as fortune's child to judge another's crimes 
Or wear this pilgrim's cloak, or be a common thief 
I've kept this single faith, I have but one belief 

I still love you 
I still want you 
A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves 
Like galaxies in my head 
On and on the mysteries unwind themselves 
Eternities still unsaid 
'Til you love me