Who are these people?

I have been on SL for some time now. I have attended several discussions across the grid to expand my own understanding and learn and grow with other lifestylers. I do the same in RL too whenever I get the chance, but where I live, there aren't a lot of opportunities to engage in munches and discussions. So, I use SL and other online spaces to stay connected to topics that matter to me, while communicating with like-minded folks in the lifestyle.

However, lately some of the discussions I have been going to left me questioning who the people are that are leading the discussions and what inspired them to do so. One discussion I went to comprised of people who gasped at the idea of going to one's Master and speaking to Him about difficult issues as they come up and not wait until such issues become bigger, unsolvable blocks. As I suggested this idea, one that shouldn't even be unique to the lifestyle, people were surprised that I could have that kind of relationship with my Master, where I don't have to use more passive aggressive measures, or that I don't seek another support system that is separate from my Master. Seriously, who are these people? I have to question the seriousness of one's investment in a relationship if they cannot approach the person to whom they submitted their well-being and communicate honestly about one's feelings.

Then the other day I went to a discussion and I cannot honestly remember what the topic was because everyone spoke out randomly, purging out every thought they had about BDSM and the facilitator addressed a comment here and there, and I was left wondering how he was going to bring the multiple threads together to stay on topic. Well, he never really brought the various threads together so it felt like scattered thoughts on any and all aspects of BDSM.

Today, I went to a discussion where the leader had his harem of submissives in full adulation of him, while he disseminated completely inaccurate information. Basic, 101 level information, was misrepresented, while he tried to hide behind a few paragraphs of cut and pasted information he got from somewhere on the Internet without understanding the meaning behind the words he posted. Sometimes I wish, I could stay silent and not open my big mouth so I wouldn't risk pissing off people. Well today was not one of those days. Somehow, I didn't feel like being this docile, brainless, human today.

Therefore, yours truly decided to call out the discussant, to point out simple things like, in BDSM, through power exchange, there can be an element of sexual control both in and out of play, and such power exchange for control is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM for many lifestylers. I won't even go into the repeated contradictions in arguments, or the back pedaling, because I simply don't have the time or the interest to do so. However, I found it interesting that the discussant was stating that there is no sexual control in BDSM, but acknowledged that people practice BDSM differently in their own lives. How can the former statement, an absolute, be true and reconciled with the latter, a subjective one?

While I don't claim to know everything about BDSM, and see myself on a journey where I have to still learn and grow, I cannot help but wonder who these people are, and how they arm themselves with the confidence of leading discussions (or in this case the discussion was repeatedly being referred to by his harem as "class"), when they lack some very basic information. At the end of the discussion/class, the harem congratulated the discussant, their Master, for teaching a great class with repeated and vigorous head nods, and I continued to question how someone who situates himself as a "teacher" could not even do some basic homework, or have a fundamental understanding of that which he teaches, or have the depth needed to discuss these multi-faceted issues.

So, I did the next best thing to resolve this inner conflict that I was experiencing. I went shopping! Retail therapy included a kick-ass outfit for an Alice in Wonderland party that I am going to DJ tomorrow evening from 6-8 pm (slt) at The Power Exchange, and rocking music that I downloaded from iTunes. By the time I got my outfit, downloaded my music, and prepared my playlist, I was back in my happy place and my world became balanced again. Yay!