Yes I know I haven't written for a long time and my 30 day letters took a back burner to multiple events in rl and in sl. But oh what a ride I had in this past one month. It was a time to leave the past behind and sail away to new spaces, confronting my own fears and embracing possibilities of a better future than I could have envisioned. Taking some bold steps, surrendering to someone who could potentially take me down a path of submission so deep that I may never ever want to return from there, have been at once exhilarating and frightening.
I will restart the 30 days letters again once I get going with my blog again. In the meantime I cannot believe where I stand now, with whom I stand now, given how convinced I was that there was going to be no one who could even come close to what I had with my previous Master. To essentially block myself the option of even meeting someone who could even tempt me to consider him as my potential dom, I started to fill my rl and sl schedule up with activities, DJing gigs, discussion facilitations, dancing gigs, so that I would not have the time to pursue or think of entertaining anyone in my life.
And yet there he was. Popping up. Every once in a while. Reminding me silently, tacitly, that we are a match. In 98% of things, he once said. I resisted him. He resisted me. I ignored him. I assumed things about him. He assumed things about me. We mirrored each other in our desires, walls that we built up, and cautions with which we proceeded. Then one night we took a leap. We opened up in ways we needed to so that we may recognize who we are to each other. Who we have always been but never admitted. My brilliant strategy of ignoring him and writing him off worked as the best seductive ploy ever.
Funny thing is that our closeness developed outside of sl. Thanks to Xenu and FSM for the advanced technology available to man and womankind these days. SL became a medium of meeting but not what defined our relationship. And before I knew it, I found myself getting weak in my knees and wanting to drop down for Him, begging him to accept me as His, something I didn't think I could ever do after my last break-up. And now I am home. I don't have to float around anymore. Someone in this vast world thinks I am worthy of His attention and affection. For that I am grateful.
To say that I feel lucky doesn't cover the depth of bliss I feel being with my Master. I bubble over with happiness. He has awakened me to move on, to remember that I deserve to be happy, to remember that happiness is natural state of being when one is with the right person. We have both traveled paths full of pain and sorrow, joys and disappointment to be at this place. But here we are. Together. Ready to sail away into this new journey. It is our time. Good things happen to good people. Let the good times roll.
And because I am so into dancing and music, this song has become my theme song for us. Enjoy. :)
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