There's nothing but love

At the risk of sounding cheesy, I can't help but write about some of the most overwhelming feelings I have experienced today. Today I saw a group of people rescue a person from under a flaming car, just coming together in their humanity. No one instructed anyone what to do, but people saw a person in crisis buried under a 4000 pound car whose hood was in flames, ran to the rescue of this one man, toppled the car, and dragged the man from under the car. It was as if everyone knew at that moment what they needed to do, like a well-orchestrated dance. So they danced. A life was saved. Humanity witnessed a random act of kindness from a group of strangers, who wanted nothing in return, an unconditional act that spoke of purity of intentions. It was in those moments I realized how much I love life and how connected we are in our shared humanity. Waves of love, compassion, and empathy flooded my being.

I meditated this morning. It was a guided meditation with visual prompts. The visuals, the revelations, the awareness, and the shift of perspectives renewed me from the core. I floated, soared through my day, did laundry and cleaned my bathroom even, acts that can and should be considered miraculous when it comes to me. I am filled with so much light that I do not think language could do justice to the overwhelming emotions that are flowing through and around me.

As simple as this may sound, the embodied experience during meditation made me realize that nothing else matters in our existence other than love. There is nothing else but love manifested in its various light and dark forms in our experiences. Pain and suffering are also part and parcel of love, just on the darker side. When we hurt, when we suffer, it is because our heart hurts and it hurts because we care, because we have a core belief that was somehow disrupted, and most often it is a core belief of love and compassion that got shattered or challenged. I realized today that perhaps the awareness of who we are and the form in material existence can be at once separated and united. In its united form, our consciousness and our lived experiences seem to be one with information flowing from our experiences to inform our consciousness, our awareness of pain, suffering, happiness, peace, etc. On the other hand, if we see consciousness, our awareness to be separate from our form, and see our form as the portal through which our consciousness or our awareness experiences life, then we can get a different perspective, perhaps one that is not as clouded, as thickened by the daily drudgery of life. 

It was through that separation of awareness and form, I learned that pain and suffering, highs and lows of life, all are ways in which my awareness experiences my existence, my journeys, and yet at a level of my highest awareness, I can hold unlimited amount of love and unconditional acceptance for all that I experience without labeling any of it to be right, wrong, sinful, saintly, good or bad. That kind of acceptance made me realize that at our source, at our core, what we have is unlimited, unconditional love and acceptance, that sees light and dark as variation of shades instead of good and bad. I was no longer afraid of my shadow. I was at peace knowing that I have a fountain of love from which I can draw my life's energy.

I realized why I have been a love slave, why I have always needed love to submit. I told Master when we first met that I don't do contracts and I only submit if there is love. I need to be loved and I love in return. Every single day we have been together, Master has loved me unconditionally. He held the reigns so tightly that whenever I got scared, when my fears and insecurities arose, he made sure I had stable ground and didn't walk away leaving me alone to sort things out. He accepted my light and dark sides, my inner bitch and my brat, my princess self and my surrendered self, and every other version of me that I presented to him. I am sure I have frustrated him plenty and yet he never let go. 

To say that I am lucky to have found such love, such mastery would be an understatement. I think people go through their entire lives to feel such a connection, such depth of acceptance and I experience it every day. To hear Master say that he loves me every day fills up my heart, my soul, my being. To experience such love in the way he treats me makes me feel fortunate. He challenges me to look at parts of myself that I am scared to peek in. But when I get the courage to do so, he supports me, holds a safe space for me, and remains my rock, especially when I babble away about all the things I have learned and experienced when I faced my shadow. He genuinely cares about my well-being and listens thoughtfully.

So this blog is dedicated to my Master, whose unconditional love and acceptance are just as kind an act of humanity as those people who saved a stranger from a burning car. He saves me everyday, infuses life into me, stays with me when I need him the most, holds my hand, and guides me along when I cannot find my own way. He simply doesn't let go. For that I am eternally grateful, beyond measure. Being in love is risky, scary, and prone to a lot of pain. However, with Master I know no other way to be. My heart is connected to his and this time around, I am not afraid of the pain anymore. There's only love and I am prepared to experience all shades of it with the man who loves me despite my flaws. Thank you Master for giving me a home in your heart, in your arms, and at your feet. Thank you for lighting me up with love. My cup runneth over.

I end this blog with this song that spoke to me while I was driving and reflecting on my rejuvenating experience.